Does All This Weight Make Me Look Fat?

You may remember that a few weeks before my freshman year of college ended, I wrote a blog effectively jinxing the freshman fifteen (and by effectively, I mean ineffectively). For various reasons it didn't work, and I was as low as I had been when I returned home in the middle of June. And it stayed that way until just after my final (knock on wood) kidney stone annihilation procedure. Then, my weight jumped two pounds and plateaued for a week and a half or two weeks. Then it jumped another two pounds and plateaued again. In all, I have gained 8 pounds since the middle of July. I know what you're thinking: "What the what?!" It's true, though. 8 pounds in just under two months. Four of the last five days have been my four heaviest morning weights since my days on TPN.

I've been reflecting upon this weight gain for a while now (just under just under two months). I know that it is partially because I am home. I am home, eating good food prepared with a short-gut diet in mind. I am home, eating a lot of good food prepared with a short-gut diet in mind. But I've eaten good food before without results like this. I think, nay, I know it's something else.

It has been 22 months, and one week, since my resection. I remember being in the ICU in Pittsburgh, and the surgeon told me that the small intestine continues to grow and adapt after a resection for two years. Well I am on the eve of my two-year anniversary, a day that once seemed so unreachable, and yet, here I am. My doctor at the Cleveland Clinic told me that some research suggests that the small intestine will continue to adapt up to 5 years after a resection. Thinking about this, I think I finally figured out why I am gaining weight. My intestines finally woke up. They realized that there was no way we could get by weighing as much as Babe Ruth's bat. And the window for peak adaptation was approaching. I am guessing that peak adaptation occurs between 2 and 5 years after a resection. It's just a hunch. I could be wrong (although, I rarely am). But I think the scale is currently speaking for itself.

8 pounds. It doesn't sound like much, but it is. I can feel those 8 pounds. I can feel it when I get up in the morning, when I walk around campus, and when I am reheating dinner late at night. I feel like I am getting closer to the pre-11/2 me, again. I am standing up straight when I walk again. I am holding my head at a confidently high angle again, high enough to suggest that I am quite certain of how awesome I am, but not so high that you can be sure this is the message I am trying to send. And I have my crooked, pre-11/2 smile back, complete with both dimples on my freshly plump, yet not bloated cheeks. All in all, I have my swagger back ... well, almost. Another 20 pounds or so, and I'll have it all the way back.

The campus I am walking around, I feel compelled to add, is the University of Akron. It's only the third week of class, but I am 100% certain that I made the right decision to transfer. In terms of professors: at Akron, they are there to teach me; at Ohio State, teaching me was time that could be better spent doing their own research. In terms of on-campus food: Akron has a Subway; Ohio State didn't. In terms of people: yesterday I was in the library doing a little homework in between classes, and a friend of mine that I used to work with happened to walk in and sat down; at Ohio State, I saw a few friendly faces around my floor, and that was it.

Sure, the University of Akron football team is no Ohio State Buckeyes. I mean Akron lost to Penn State last week. It's not like the Buckeyes lost to the Nittany Lions- oops. Well Ohio State was closer to Penn State last year than Akron was this year. Akron lost 31-7. The Buckeyes were never embarrassed by that much- oops.

Sure, OSU has the legendary Horseshoe, but Akron has InfoCision Stadium which will host its first game this Saturday. This first football game on Akron's campus since 1940. Since then the Zippers have always played at the Rubber Bowl (basically a less flashy, less well-known Horseshoe with a less-successful team). But this is a state-of-the-art facility, being called "a gem." Plus, I get in free. I paid about $150 for football tickets last year. And I was four rows from the top, behind a support beam, and not in the student section. This year, if I get there early enough, I could be in the first row right on the end zone line in the student section with the rest of the AK-Rowdies. And that's exactly where I plan to be.

The final point I'd like to discuss tonight is perhaps the most important to those living and dealing with short-gut. PROBIOTICS. Live bacteria that I have been taking to deal with SIBO. I have been taking VSL-3 which costs $50 per bottle containing 30 doses. My mother, ever the frugalista, has found a way to get -wait for it- two months worth of doses at - wait for it - four times as many live bacteria for - wait for it - $40. I'll give you a minute to let that sink in ... ... ... That's right. Eight times as much for $10 less. The probiotics she found are in powder form that need to be mixed with a non-carbonated beverage. One dose of this is nearly a trillion (with a "TR") live bacteria, swimming eagerly in my Powerade Zero, ready to take on the bad bacteria in my small intestine. I know what you're saying: "What the what?!" She took the prescription to the pharmacy, the pharmacy filled it, and she paid $40 because insurance covered the rest of the cost. The same insurance company that told her on the phone that it didn't cover this medication because it "isn't a necessity." Well joke's on you Anthem Blue Cross/Blue Shield, we only paid $40. Deal with it.

That's all for now, but expect a post about how awesome the game is this Saturday.

Go Zips! -IW

Author's Note: I will, as soon as I return from InfoCision Stadium, change into my James Laurinitis jersey and scarlet hat, and plop down on the couch to watch Ohio State return the favor to the men of Troy. Go Buckeyes!