Metaphor Practice #1

I'm watching President Obama speak right now and am a little bit bored, so I decided to post something. On a side note, I am speechless at the apathy shown by my fellow college students towards politics. The same people who three and a half months ago would kill anybody who said they were not voting for Barack-Attack now scoff at those who tune in to any major television station in order to watch the first televised, prime-time Obamania press conference. I have lost a lot of respect for all of my classmates who once took political rivalries personally and now think that just because Jesus, I mean Barack, won the election, we no longer need to pay any attention to his policies or actions. But I digress... All who know me, know my love for the Fox television show House, based on the arrogant, alienating, brilliant diagnostician, Dr. Gregory House, M.D. at Princeton-Plainsboro Hospital in New Jersey. The show is a glorious achievement in dramatic television writing and acting. But it is not on tonight, because of Obama-rama. House, when diagnosing a patient, has a way with metaphors. No matter the diagnosis, he is always able to come up with an eloborate yet brilliantly appropriate metaphor to prove to his team a) that he is right and b) that he is a lot smarter than they are. Anyway, I am going to begin practicing my ability to execute appropriately conceived metaphors. Here it goes: Your friend shows you his hands, covered in blisters. You cringe, you offer your sympathy, you may ask a few questions about how it happened and how it is affecting their life right now, but as soon as the topic of conversation shifts, blisters are the farthest thing from your mind. The pain of others only pulls on your heartstrings while it is being thrust into your present conscience. Similarly, I tell someone about my own health-related endeavors, and they cringe, they offer their sympathy, they may ask a few questions about how it happened and how it is affecting my life right now, but as soon as the topic of conversation shifts, my diet restrictions and quality of life are the furthest things from their mind. It isn't their fault, I'm not blaming them. I am merely stating a fact. Someone else's problem is just that: someone else's problem. Anyway, I have blisters on my hands from golf class this morning. After re-reading my metaphor, it isn't nearly as brilliant as I hoped it would be, nor, do I think, is it even a metaphor. This is a metaphor: "Having short-gut is like having blistered hands." Maybe it's a simile. I can't remember which one uses "like" or "as" and which one doesn't. Anyway, that will be the first of my to-be-posted list of Wonderisms. That's right, I plan to, over the course of a decent amount of blog postings, put together a list of original short sayings, quotes, and bits of wisdom that I will refer to as Wonderisms. I can see that you are shaking with anticipation. Good luck trying to contain yourself - IW